No cell phones in the library

About two years ago, the library banned cell phone use. This was seen as a victory by most of the staff, as well as some of our more vocal and annoying patrons.

"It's about time!" and "Finally, a suggestion from the public is answered!" many a patron was heard to say as they glimpsed one of the new signs.

Unfortunately, the joy was soon dampened by the fact that no one actually stopped using their cell phones. So, basically, people kept letting their phones ring and kept talking on their phones, only now, we had to go badger them to turn them off. And just so you know, "There are no cell phones in the library, could you please turn yours off?" apparently means "Go ahead and continue to talk on your phone (or let it ring) as you make your way slowly downstairs, finish your conversation halfway down, and then leave your phone on and go back to your original seat."

I once saw a man jabbering on his phone (he was trying to hide from me behind a pillar). As I approached him and gave my spiel, he kept talking and turned and walked right into the men's restroom.

I have chased people around as they tried to avoid me. I have had people tell me that their call is an emergency, and they should be able to take it. My coworker stood in front of a woman and told her repeatedly that she needed to go outside to use her phone, while she continued to carry on her conversation, only to have her burst into tears and yell at him (when she had finally finished, of course). Other patron protestations include:

"But I'm just checking my voicemail!" (hmm, I don't speak to my voicemail, do you?)

"This is important."

"Oops! Sorry!" (phone rings 5 minutes later) "Oops! Sorry!" (and 5 minutes later) "Oops!..."

"My friend is telling me what to search for in Google."

"I know there's no cell phones!!!"

"Oh, there's no cell phones?"

The most common reaction is for the person to nod at me while finishing their conversation, then hanging up and leaving their phone on, ready for the next call. Some people will pick up and leave all their personal items, including laptops, and run outside to take a call, then get upset when somebody has made off with their computer (hello, library is a public building, not your living room). My favorite is when they flee down the stairs to get away from me, and then the staff at the Info Desk on the first floor yell at them, too (they are much better at the yelling that I am). Ha ha ha! You cannot escape so easily!

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Once my phone rang at my cubical in the back room.

Me: "Hello?"
S: (whispered) "Hi."
Me: (recognizing that it is my husband calling) "Hi! Are you here to pick me up?"
S: (still whispering) "Yes, where should I meet you?"
Me: "I'll meet you out front. Why are you whispering?"
S: "Because I'm in the library."